Writing by Nathan, age 10

How to Destroy a Table

Step 1: Get an iron hammer.

Step 2: Get a metal chair.

Step 3: Get a heavy barbell.

Step 4: Get a table.

Step 5: Whack the table with the hammer. This will make a bump and a scratch.

Step 6: If that doesn’t work, try using the chair.

Step 7: If that doesn’t work, use the heavy barbell.

Step 8: Bring the table out onto sidewalk.

Step 9: Go upstairs to the top floor of your building and lean out the window and drop the barbell down onto the table.

Step 10: It will make a lot of damage.

Step 11: Check to see if the table is broken.

Step 12: If it’s still not broken, then go onto an airplane and crash into the table. This will mean suicide, but the table will be broken for sure.



Nails

If worms were germs,
then bugs would be slugs
If snails were nails,
then whales would be pails
If paper were glaciers,
then ice would be lice
If floods were guts,
then eyes would be fried,
and they would be crunchy
and it would be
hard
to see



Nathan

My American name is Nathan. It means “gift from the gods.” My father and my mother chose this name because they like the “th” sound. I like my name because I like to imagine I’m a gift from the gods and if someone unwrapped me I would be a toy gun. My Chinese name is Cheng Huan. It means “responsibility and see into the future.” It also means “happy, superior, successful and Chinese tradition.” My mother chose this name because she liked these ideas. I like this name because it reminds me of funerals. People who can see into the future know when everyone’s going to die.

Writing by Alina, age 10

If Dogs Were People
By Alina

If dogs were people
then aliens would have voices
If books were giants
then onions would be flies
If bugs were buildings
then bears would be chairs
If buttons were medals
then windows would be tires
If erasers were skeletons
then paper would be shirts
So I would draw a self-portrait
and wear it
on a roller-coaster that goes
kind of slow
and kind of fast

Alina
By Alina

My name is Alina. It means “royal.” My mother named me Alina because she thinks the name is easy to call. I think my name fits me because it is easy to write and I think the sound of my name fits me because it reminds me of crickets and crickets remind me of me because they’re quiet. But my name also doesn’t fit me because I’m not into kings, queens or princesses.

My Chinese name is Wen Yu. It means “gets mad easily.” My parents chose it because they like it. When I asked them why they liked it, they just said they liked it. I think it fits me because it’s easy to say and I like easy words. But I also think it doesn’t fit me because I am usually calm. I get mad sometimes, but when I get angry I just go away from the person. I don’t brake things, throw things or yell at that person.

Writing by Tommy, age 10

If Hair Were Snakes

If hair were snakes
then teeth would be scissors
If ears were flies
then mirrors would be maps
If wood were stone
then glue would be concrete
And I would use it
to paste together
robots
that serve
noodles

My American Name

My name is Tommy and my mom named me. Tommy means twin. My mom didn’t know my name had that meaning but I when I told her she said she wants me to have twins when I grow up.

My Chinese Name

My Chinese name is Ying Jie Min. It means “famous and smart.” My mom thought that I wouldn’t be smart when I grow up unless she gave me this name. I like my Chinese name because it makes it sound like I am a famous man inventing things.

Writing by Tiana, age 10

If Play-doh Were Metal
By Tiana

If Play-doh were metal
then clay would be coal
If ants were sugar bowls
then monkeys would be milk crates
If needles were blood
then nails would be sea water
If bait were fish
then dollars would be humans
If Hawaii were angry
then California would be calm
If Mexico were the flu
then Norway would be frostbite
If scissors were crayons
then knives would be pastels
And I would pick them up carefully
and draw something
sharp


My American Name

On January 17, 1998 my mom gave birth to me. After a couple of hours a nurse came into my mom’s room asked her what was she going to name me. She didn’t know, so the nurse suggested a few names, including Tiana. My mom thought Tiana sounded great because it sounded easy to say. To me, a nurse naming me is intresting because I always thought parents had to pick the names for their children, not anyone else. I also like my name because it means “fairy queen.” If I were a fairy queen I would use my magic to fix the world and heal the dead. When I grow up I want to be a pharmacist and help people in need.

My Chinese Name

My Chinese name is Hong May Ting. It means beautiful. I hate my Chinese name because to me it’s not interesting or cool. Almost all parents want their daughters' names to mean beautiful. I think other things are more important than beauty, like survival.

Writing by Catherine, age 10

Twirly
By Catherine

If the sky were the ocean
then mice would fly
If cavemen were dizzy
then dogs would be cats
If bees were needles
then cockroaches would be pencils
If flowers were cows
then grass would be roosters
If shirts were plastic
then shoes would be metal
And I would lay in a meadow
and look up
and wait
until I get all wet

Pure
By Catherine

My name is Catherine Alexandra. My mom chose my first name and my dad chose my middle name. My mom named me Catherine because she saw the name in a book of baby names, and she liked it. My dad named me Alexandra because his middle name is Alexander. People think my name is spelled with a K so I always have to tell them it’s with a C. Some of my relatives call me Cathy and sometimes they call me Catherine with the Spanish pronunciation. My name means “pure.” When I think of the word “pure,” I think of emptiness, but I don’t feel empty. I feel full of kindness and creativity because I like to help and I like to do art.

Bullies Vs. Black T-shirt Kids by Don, age 11

Chapter 1
Fight, Fight, Fight!

“Come on,” said Boxhead. “Show me what you got, wimpy.”

“I’m ready for my rematch,” said Gamer.

Boxhead ran to knock down a row of kids in black t-shirts then he saw a banana peel. He tried to stop but his legs just kept on going and he slipped on the peel, his feet twisted and he bumped his head on the ground. He got sent to the nurse then he headed to the principal’s office, tattling on the banana peel. He saw one more kid in a black t-shirt through a window in the hallway. Before another one of the bullies could punch the last survivor, the bell rang. Ding-ding, ding-ding.

“Aww,” said a boy who was in no one’s group. The kids called him.... well they just called him, The Man. He always exercised and beat up people all day, just like the bullies do, but sometimes he took a break by playing video games. Sometimes The Man would act normal then change his attitude. He might be acting crazy like a monkey, just like the kids in the black t-shirts did. Other times he would enter eating contests. Once he ate 900 corn dogs. He didn’t vomit. He only burped. So it was hard for him to choose which group he’d be in. He just had a table all by himself because the girls needed to be with other girls and the boys had to sit with other boys and everyone sat with their own clique. The Man didn’t have any buddy. But one day his life would change forever.

“So, The Man,” said Boxhead, “Who do you choose to be with?”

Chapter 2
I Don’t Know

Hmmmmmmmmmm, The Man thought, “I don’t know.”

“What!” said both the bullies and the black t-shirt kids. “You don’t know which one to join?!”

“Wait,” said The Man. “I think that there will be a winner in this war.”

“Dun-Dun-Dommmmm,” said a guy.

“Who agrees to fight in a war, right here, right now?” said The Man.

“We call team bullies,” said the bullies with some tough players.

“We call team Black t-shirts,” said the kids in the black t-shirts. They always threw gum and paper towels all over the bathroom.

“Great,” said The Man. “We all have teams.”

“But The Man didn’t pick a team yet,” said a kid. Now there was a bunch of commotion.

“Ha, that’s because I’m not a team player, you … well never mind, anyway, I’m the umpire of this war,” said The Man. “Anyway, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah and so on, this war is a water war, so let’s just begin!”

Chapter 3
Let the War Begin!

Both teams set up their bases and then The Man told everyone about the rules.

“Rule one,” he said. “We have a line here and if anyone crosses it, they’re out. Rule two: If you have any cheats in your backpack right now to trick people, throw them away now! Rule three: If anyone splashes water on me, they’re ou—“

“Will you get on with it!” yelled all the bullies.

“Yeah,” said the black t-shirt kids. “We have been standing here empty-handed for hours!”

“Ok, ok, enough!” said The Man. “Ok, when I say ‘go,’ you can begin. Go!”

Chapter 4
Splash!

Well, about half of the boys didn’t listen really carefully about the rules. They cheated by throwing balloons that made people turn into blocks of ice. The balloons were full of ice water if they were using Freezing Balloons, and Following Balloons were made using special remote control technology that had something to do with satellites, microchips, and electricity. How you work the Following Balloon is to first connect a long wire (when you have the time to rest) to the satellites, but it will make the person who owns the satellite get their favorite show to a fizzle. Next, disconnect the wire and place it on the remote control until all electricity data is complete. Then, this is a tricky one, try to stick the microchip inside the balloon while you blow air inside the balloon. When the chip is on, try to connect the remote control to the chip and get ready for excitement.

Both of the teams, Team Black T-shirt and Team Bullies, were afraid of the war and wanted to have The Man in their groups. So they had to use cheats to win the war quickly. One of the bullies was hit with cold, freezing water and got out. There were six people left from the Black T-shirt kids and five people from the Bullies. Then they had a lunch break to eat lunch for an hour. Some crossed the line and other made The Man wet. His mother came out of a bath store with extra supplies for home and headed to Firebird Elementary School. But before she opened the gate, she saw The Man all wet. So she raced through the gate and took The Man home to go take a bath about ten times. You see that’s why it’s important to have your ears turned on. The boy from the Black T-shirt team who threw the balloon at The Man was out! They should have listened to the rules! The next round will be Round two. This was the juiciest war ever!

Chapter 5
Bummer

“Take that,” said Boxhead, who threw a balloon on one of the Black T-shirt kids.

“You’re out,” said The Man.

“Bummer,” said Boxhead. Then two balloons splashed two bullies.

“Out,” said The Man, “Oh and double bummers!”

“Wah,” cried the two bullies.

“Time out,” said The Man. Everyone, except for the two bullies who got hit in the head and cried liked big fat goo-goo gaga babies, went to eat a delicious, healthy, crunchy snack. When they finished eating, the Black T-shirt Kids had two kids still alive. The Bullies had only one person—that was Boxhead. Hooray- I mean, poor not guilty, independent, weak, useless, non-cheapskate, horrible, too many adjectives to describe this noun called bullies. But this wasn’t over yet.

Chapter 6
Escape

The Man was now completely nervous. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat it again. “First, I’ll won’t call myself The Man anymore,” The Man said. “I could call myself, umm... ... maybe I’ll call myself ...” sigh. “Mr. Chilly Boy. Second, I would go through a sewer to get out of this strange state. Last, I will write a note. It will say, Sorry but I’ve abandoned you for the rest of your life, Ciao.

Chapter 7
Noooooo!

“Hey, who is Mr. Chilly Boy?” said Boxhead, puzzled about the name change.

“Must be The Man,” said Gamer. “Who would... hey, he abandoned us!”

“Nooooo!” yelled Boxhead.

“Would you like some water?” said an unknown girl.

“Yesssss!” yelled Gamer. “It’s because I’m really thirstyyyy!”

“Let’s get that traitorrrrrr!” said all of the boys.

Chapter 8
Questions & Answers

1.How will Mr. Chilly Boy escape?
2.When will this madness end?
3.Who was that girl?
4.Why am I asking you all these questions? I’ve never even met you before.


1. Mr. Chilly Boy will need to get some people to help him escape from the angry mob of boys.
2. The madness will continue or end soon.
3a. The unknown girl is one of Mr. Chilly Boy’s siblings.
3b. She’ll be in my next story.
4. I won’t answer the last question because I don’t want to be mean to the god or the angels anyway.

About the Author

Hello, my name is Don and I’m eleven and I live in an apartment in San Francisco with my mom. And this is my fifth published book. My other books are The Iceman, The Boy Who Brought Back Winter, Bus Stop Fight, and My Mom. What I like to do is to play my DS a lot. I’m really good at math and basketball. I want to be good at baseball someday. I want to be a math teacher when I grow up. If I were an animal, I would be a tiger because I was born in the year of the tiger. My first, middle, and last name start with the letter D so some people call me triple D. My biggest fear is hiking and bugs (don’t use the bug to scare me). I wonder if the next earthquake is coming soon.

If Bears Were Paper by Anna, age 10

If bears were paper
then fur would be pencils
If poison ivy were popcorn
then roses would be nachos
If crayons were water
then chalk would be acid
If Florida were kiwis
then Colorado would be daisies
And I would travel the world
and scatter its petals
all over the place

Family Stories by Chelzea, age 10

Chapter One
Tobiey Gets Lost

The doorbell rang and my mom answered it. She was nine years old. It was her anutie bringing her a dog named Tobiey. My mom said, ''It's so cute.'' My mom's auntie took Tobiey for walk then came back to feed him and asked my grandma if she could keep her dog for her because she had no room for the dog in her house. Then the next day the dog escaped because one of my mom's sisters accidentally left the door open.

Chapter Two
Grandma

My Grandma on my dad's side of the family was walking home one night here in San Francisco. She stopped at an odd street that was near a hospital. She said the street felt dark and cold. Then she said, ''The evil is dark and cold,'' but she had to go home so she went down the street and said, ''What if I don't make it out, then who will take care of my babies?'' She kept walking until the street was no longer dark and cold.

Chapter Three
My Great grandfather

Once when my great grand father was alive he had donkeys. My mom wanted to ride one of the donkeys so she got one. At first it was calm and then all of a sudden it went crazy and it made my mom fall in a puddle. The next day my great grandfather sold both of the donkeys, and after he sold them he went inside the house and laid in bed then a few minutes later my mom went inside the bedroom and tried to wake him up and he didn't open his eyes or move. Then my mom realized that he was dead.

Chapter Four
My Name

When I was born my mom saw when they where taking me out of her stomach. I think I heard her screaming and she was also happy that she had a baby. Then a nurse took my mom to another room and asked her what my name was going to be. My mom said ''JC.'' The nurse made a mistake and wrote down Chelzea. Then years passed and my mom told me about the mistake with my name. When she told me that, I was shocked and happy to hear my real name. I was happy that I had a name I liked better than the name I have right now. I don't like the name Chelzea because it sounds kind of odd to me and I like my real name because it makes me think I was named after JC Penny and I like that store. JC also looks easy to write on tests and stuff. Chelzea means "landing place for chalk or limestone." This makes me think I'm like a chalkboard or a book people write on and I'm imagining their words in my head.

Chapter Five
My Dad

One night I heard my dad crying. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "My cousin died because someone killed him." This broke my heart. Then he told me not to kill people and he told me why my parents don't let me go to school alone. That made me so sad that inside my mind I saw three columns, one for me, one for my mom and one for my dad. Mine was empty because I felt nothing and so was my mom's. My dad's column was rising. It hurt my heart when my dad went to his mom's house for the funeral.

My mom asked me why was I crying. At first I wouldn't tell her but then I said, "I'm crying because dad said that his cousin died."

She said, "I know, he told me when he got home."

Ever since my dad's cousin died everybody in my dad's family has been sad and crying. Something happened. Every time I went to their house they would always ask me if I wanted juice or something or if I wanted to watch TV, but they didn't after ask me these things after my dad's cousin died. When we came home from my grandma's house once, I wispered to my mom and said, "Mom, why didn't they ask me if I wanted something?"

My mom said, "They did. They asked you if you wanted Chinese food and you said yes".

"I don’t remember."

About The Author

Hi, my name is Chelzea, aka JC. I am ten years old. I live in San Francisco with my mom and dad. My favorite thing to do is to sing. I am good at math. Someday I want to be good at reading because my dad says I need practice. When I grow up I want to be a rock star. If I were an animal I would be half-puppy and half-bunny because these animals are so cute and cudley. I am different from my family because I am really sensitive. My biggest fear is getting eaten by a lion. I wonder if my mom knows other secrets about me but she doesn't want to tell me.

If Mexico Were Chihuahuas by Ivy, age 10

If Mexico were Chihuahuas
then Florida would be crocodiles
If China were kittens
then Vietnam would be fish
If sadness were Missouri
then frustration would be Indiana
And I’d lay down in its sun
and let myself
burn

Poetry by David & Jocelin, both age 9

The Old Times
By Jocelin

If the 1900s were nerds
then the Ice Age would be a genius
If pencils were curious
then erasers would be know-it-alls
If airplanes were socks
then helicopters would be slippers
If cups were MP3s
then lockers would be CDs
If plants were Scrabble players
then leaves would be Scrabble pieces
If drawings were pencils
then paint would be brushes
If file folders were business people
then computers would be genies
If monkeys were women
then ostriches would be men
If arms were bracelets
then legs would be anklets



If Cars Were People
By David

If cars were people
then backpacks would be books
If houses were desks
then computers would be fatter
If doors were paper
then windows would be clocks

Crossy and the Cherries by Trang, age 11

Chapter one

Crossy put cherries, flower petals, paper clips and toenails in a metal box. She also put in some circuits and wires and microchips and closed the metal box. She drilled tiny holes in it so she could put more wires inside. She found a Soft Squish Finger Press and poked five wires into it. She softened the toenails with hot contaminated chemicals so she could poke wires through those too. She also put some batteries in the box. When Crossy pressed the red button, everything looked blurry to her. After an hour she could see clearly again.

"I struck gold!" said Crossy, walking through the entrance to Cherryland.

Chapter two

Crossy went into a cherry mineral cave. She plucked a cherry from the wall and put it in her mouth. She thought it was the BEST cherry she had ever eaten. She found a secret doorway in the wall, and opened it. She went through it, entering a dark room. It was like a moonless night without stars. She heard a giggle.

"Welcome to my kingdom," said a voice. A light went on. A girl in a black dress stood in front of Crossy. Live bats were taped to her shoes. They flapped their wings wildly, trying to escape. She asked Crossy for a golden cherry.

"I don't have a cherry."

“Don't play dumb with me, mortal."

A low voice called to the girl. “Princess come here," said the voice.

“Father, stop calling me princess," said the little girl.

It was Crossy's chance to escape. Crossy ran and as she looked back, she bumped into a man.

"How dare you bump into the king"! said the man.

"I'm sorry," said Crossy, bowing. She didn’t really believe this was the king so she decided to wait for him to fall asleep and look for his ID. As she walked away, she saw an invitation in his pocket that said, “Party on May X X I X X X I (2,811,111). Party ends at X X I(12) pm.

Chapter 3

She snuck into the king’s attic and looked left and right and saw an air vent. She crawled in and waited for the king to come home and fall asleep. When he did, Crossy slid out of the vent and looked in his pocket and found his ID.

“YIKES ! He is the king,” she whispered. She climbed back through the vent and struggled along the small passageway. She crawled farther inside. She looked through a metal grate. A golden cherry sat upon a small stand in the king's personal room. She pushed open the grate and jumped out. "There you are my precious," Crossy said to the cherry. She took out a mirror from her pocket and put it in front of a laser protecting the cherry. The mirror made the laser point at the TV, which made the guard fall asleep. Man he's loud snorer, thought Crossy.

She climbed back up to the vent. “Finally I have the cherry.” She remembered a myth about the Golden Cherry. If you wished upon it, it would grant you a wish. Crossy made a wish on the cherry. She wished that she were the queen and as soon as she made her wish, she heard waves of cherry juice splash on the shore outside. She also heard high pitched cherry bells and she was a queen! She had a crown with a cherry jewel, the fruit was a ruby and the hearts were diamonds. Crossy wore a dress that was connected to her shoes with plastic tubes so she would never lose them. The shoes were connected to her feet with hot glue so she would never lose them! They were high heeled and when she went to sleep, she just pushed her heels foward until her shoes were flat. The air vent had transformed into a palace. She called the place "Crossy Land."

When crossy took a shower, she pressed a pink pearl cherry-shaped button on the faucet and she was clean because there were six built-in bars of soap that scrubbed and peeled off dirt and dead skin. She never ever complained about her life or about how her life used to be miserable.

Crossy met everyone in Cherryland and took a bite out of them.

Chapter 4

Crossy found the king in his courtroom. “Your royal Cherriness, will you be my king?” said Crossy.

“No way woman, you’re way too funky smelling!” said the king.

“But, but, but I will jack your men’s cologne, so I will not smell funky!” said Crossy.

“Go away,” shouted the king, “or I will destroy your cherry grove/crop thingies! By the way, smear some of your cherries on yourself so you’ll smell a little bit funky fresher.”

“Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” cried Crossy.

Crossy got mad so she made a potion out of dingo-lingo cherries, her hair (two strands), cherry toad legs and her spit. She put everything in a huge pot and boiled all the ingredients. She took a large beer mug and a cooler and ran through a cherry flavored candy cave with the pot. She saw a girl who looked like her named Jen-Jen. They teamed up because both girls were rejected by the king. They both went to the castle to give the potion to the king. When they got to the castle’s gate the guards were asleep.

“Buky Chu chu buu buu dihe dihee hiae he momoma,” snored the guards.

Jen-Jen and Crossy rushed through the gate and it creaked loudly because the guards didn’t put oil on the hinges. The girls looked at the guards to see if they’d woken up. They hadn’t. The girls tiptoed up the castle staircase to the third floor. They gave the potion to the king. He drank it and fell asleep.

“Yes!” the girls said.

“Jen-Jen,” said Crossy. “I think we are going to be rich because the king is rich!”

“Cool!” said Jen-Jen. “We can take all his treasures while the potion is still working."

Crossy thought Jen-Jen was so ugly and disgusting because she acted so snobby and she said she was the ruler of Crossy Land so Crossy made a potion for Jen-Jen. Crossy found a pot and inside she put fingoling cherries, pink plaster, blue plaster, red plaster and Jen-Jen’s own hair with flavored highlights. She boiled everything then Crossy got a bottle and went to the Cherry Fields Lakes and filled her bottle with the lakes’ cherry juice. When the potion was done boiling, Crossy got another bottle and filled it with the potion. The liquids looked no different but Crossy put the letter C on her bottle of plain cherry juice and J-J on Jen-Jen's potion bottle.

The next day Crossy went to Jen-Jen's house with the bottles to celebrate

When Crossy gave the potion to Jen-Jen she grew a long nose and passed out. Crossy was having a fun time ruling her castle but then the king popped out of nowhere.

“YOU!!!” shouted the king. He was on a motorcycle with flaming cherry bunnies printed all over it. The king’s soldiers were on cherry-patterned horses.

“WHHOA horsey,” shouted the soldiers.

"How dare you come to my kingdom, what did we do to your kingdom? We didn't break through your castle wall, did we? Hmmmmmm, did we!"

"Wellll, Nooo!" The king stammered.

"So, why did you did it then?" Crossy said.

"Ummmm, ummmm, I don't know ........ because I felt like it."

“You horrible monster!" Crossy said. "Frezze thisss kingg intoo aaa goldennn statueeee mmmake himmmm feellll painnn likkkkkke a wolff izz biting him!!!!"
"Noooooo!" cried the king

"Wow did I really do magic?" Crossy licked her lips and tasted cherries.

About the Author

Hi, my name is Trang. I'm in fifth grade and I live in San Francisco. My birthday is May 28. I was born in the year of the tiger because I was born in 1998. My favorite animals are tigers, dogs (I have a dog named Bee) and baby mice when they are alone without a mom or helpless. I wonder if I was born to enjoy everything I love or if I was born to endure sadness.

Dimension Problem by Jason, age 10

A blurry spiral appeared on the screen and Hammond and Raphael went spinning into it. They entered the War! They touched the ground and their hands went through but not their feet. Everything was transparent.

“I am thirsty,” said Hammond.

“Get your own!” said Rafael. Hammond drank all his water.

“I am still thirsty!”

“Too bad!”

Hammond removed his gun and bonked Rafael with it. “Why did I do that!” said Hammond.

“It's ok,” said Rafael, getting up.

“DIE!!!” Hammond said and he bonked Rafael. “Oh, well.” Hammond removed his shovel from his backpack and dug a hole and buried Rafael.

In a few minutes, Rafael dug himself out of the dirt. Flies buzzed around. It smelt like manure.

“Now where is Hammond?” Rafael looked around.

“Must suck blood,” said a voice.

Rafael turned around and looked behind him. A whole army of zombies came toward him. Their bones stuck out. Their eyes shined like a star. Rafael shot all the zombies with his shoulder cannon and ran. He saw a motorcycle, got on it and rode it away. He looked at the deserted world. He felt cold and drove up to space.

Rafael sensed someone was in trouble. He saw a large pyramid made of zombies. Rafael sped away and the zombies were gone. He pressed the EXCELERATE button. Then he found a person lying down. It was Hammond!!! He looked injured and wounded. Rafael stopped and picked him up. He put and him in a small cart and took him to an abandoned hospital. Rafael found an elixir on a shelf and gave it to Hammond, and after he drank it, he healed and his injury disappeared from his skin. Hammond quickly got up and found a plane. They got on and flew it away. While on the plane, Rafael pointed to a space satellite through the window.

“It will have lots of food, equipment to kill monsters and… aaaa? Hammond?”

Hammond’s face transformed into a purple balloon and his cheeks puffed out. Rafael found an astronaut suit in the closet. After Hammond put it on, his face deflated and the purple faded from his skin. Rafael and Hammond looked out the window. They landed on the satellite.

“Now what was I going to say?” Rafael said, getting out of the plane.

An android was heading for Rafael.

“What’s up, Zack?” said Rafael.

“Fine,” said the android in a robotic voice. “Nothing has changed." Rafael and Hammond created Zack.

Zack lead Rafael and Hammond to a room.

“Well, I need your help,” Rafael said.

“What is it?” asked Zack.

“We need to get out of this dimension,” Rafael said. “Right Hammond?”

When Rafael turned around, he saw Hammond exploring the spaceship.

“Now get in here,” Said Zack.

Rafael and Hammond entered a tube and Rafael's fingers turned into stone. His eyes turned red. Rocks stuck to him. He became a large rock monster.

Scales erupted on Hammond’s skin. His buckteeth formed into sharp razor fangs. His blue eyes turned red. He grew two extra legs.

“Hey,” said Hammond, “that’s no fair, you get to be a big, tough, fat and ugly monster and I don’t!”

“SHUT UP!!!!!” said Zack “We have to kill the warlord, Zurk.”

“EMERGENCY!” said the recorded voice. “Zurk has arrived!”

Zurk blasted the door open and said, “Surrender or you will be destroyed by my wrath.”

“You’re crazy! Take that for coming here, DUDE!” Hammond kicked Zurk on the face and his face exploded. His head flew through the ceiling of the ship and into outer space. Suddenly, the sky filled up with an explosive firework from the head.

Hammond and Rafael went inside a capsule on the satellite. They were back to normal. They crashed and had a big tantrum. Their bodies shrunk back to normal. The capsule shook and flames flared and the capsule headed for the portal that showed the planet Earth. They blasted into it and landed on the roof of Rafael’s house.

They went to the dump to throw away the Wii and found George Bush throwing a fit at a garbage bag. He murmured that he got fired for the president. He said he wanted it. So he took it.

About the Author

Hi, my name is Jason. I am ten. I live with my mom, dad, sister, and grandma. I am good at many games like Yu-gi-oh, Bakugan, and a lot of other things. I want to be a bit more advanced in sports. I am also the author of Curses and Goshi and the Dragons.

Thing I Don't Hate by Stanley, age 10

Things that Make Me Shake by Holly, age 9

Things that Make Me Wince by Catherine, age 9

Things that Make Me Feel Like a Floppy Blanket by Lisa, age 9

Three Poems by Kenny, age 9

The Green Bone by Stanley, age 10

Lamara flew to Greenland. He saw signs that said THAT WAY, THIS WAY, BOTH WAYS, STOP WAY, and one said FREEWAY. He thought he was in a maze. He went north.

A pig jumped out from behind one of the signs and said, “I am the fat pig.”

Lamara hit the pig’s face and it melted. The boy found a green bone and it smelled like dirty underwear. When he got out of the maze, a pair of underwear with hands and legs appeared. The underwear cast a spell on Lamara: “Wam ma poma do-do boeey dmm goo-gooh, kjugiuygiiyrfgjk.”

The spell made him disappear from where he was. He felt shaky and dizzy and he threw up. He hit the ground. Trees oozed red sap. One-eyed maps flew around the trees. The maps smelled like rotten apples and cried, “Appa dah, appa dah, leeeee.”

A boy named Ham walked up to him and said, “Are you my friend?”

“Do you want to be my wife?” Lamara said.

Lamara felt something tap his back. It was his mom.

“Go to the Aswow King,” she said. “Tell him to unlock the fat spell that got me when I was cooking computers.”

Lamara went west. He found the Aswow King and said, “I will kill you if you don’t unlock this spell!”

The King clapped his feet to unlock the spell.

Lamara went home. Ham was inside the house but Lamara didn’t know why.

“I am your mom,” Ham said.

About the Author

I am Stanley. I am ten years old. I live in San Francisco and I like to go to the movies. I am good at math and science. Someday I want to be good at winning contests. When I grow up I want to be a doctor. If I were an animal I would be a tiger because they roar. My biggest fear is too many people in my house. I wonder if cats ever kill dogs. I am also the author of Monst Bump, The FF 200, My Grandma, Suxiang Chen and The Number Nine Bus.

Things that Make Me Feel Like Electricity by Edmund, age 9

Things that Make My Ears Sting by Catherine, age 9