Friday, July 24, 2009
Writing by Nathan, age 10
How to Destroy a Table
Step 1: Get an iron hammer.
Step 2: Get a metal chair.
Step 3: Get a heavy barbell.
Step 4: Get a table.
Step 5: Whack the table with the hammer. This will make a bump and a scratch.
Step 6: If that doesn’t work, try using the chair.
Step 7: If that doesn’t work, use the heavy barbell.
Step 8: Bring the table out onto sidewalk.
Step 9: Go upstairs to the top floor of your building and lean out the window and drop the barbell down onto the table.
Step 10: It will make a lot of damage.
Step 11: Check to see if the table is broken.
Step 12: If it’s still not broken, then go onto an airplane and crash into the table. This will mean suicide, but the table will be broken for sure.
If worms were germs,
then bugs would be slugs
If snails were nails,
then whales would be pails
If paper were glaciers,
then ice would be lice
If floods were guts,
then eyes would be fried,
and they would be crunchy
and it would be
My American name is Nathan. It means “gift from the gods.” My father and my mother chose this name because they like the “th” sound. I like my name because I like to imagine I’m a gift from the gods and if someone unwrapped me I would be a toy gun. My Chinese name is Cheng Huan. It means “responsibility and see into the future.” It also means “happy, superior, successful and Chinese tradition.” My mother chose this name because she liked these ideas. I like this name because it reminds me of funerals. People who can see into the future know when everyone’s going to die.