Saturday, June 27, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The Old Times
If the 1900s were nerds
then the Ice Age would be a genius
If pencils were curious
then erasers would be know-it-alls
If airplanes were socks
then helicopters would be slippers
If cups were MP3s
then lockers would be CDs
If plants were Scrabble players
then leaves would be Scrabble pieces
If drawings were pencils
then paint would be brushes
If file folders were business people
then computers would be genies
If monkeys were women
then ostriches would be men
If arms were bracelets
then legs would be anklets
If Cars Were People
If cars were people
then backpacks would be books
If houses were desks
then computers would be fatter
If doors were paper
then windows would be clocks
Monday, June 15, 2009
Crossy put cherries, flower petals, paper clips and toenails in a metal box. She also put in some circuits and wires and microchips and closed the metal box. She drilled tiny holes in it so she could put more wires inside. She found a Soft Squish Finger Press and poked five wires into it. She softened the toenails with hot contaminated chemicals so she could poke wires through those too. She also put some batteries in the box. When Crossy pressed the red button, everything looked blurry to her. After an hour she could see clearly again.
"I struck gold!" said Crossy, walking through the entrance to Cherryland.
Crossy went into a cherry mineral cave. She plucked a cherry from the wall and put it in her mouth. She thought it was the BEST cherry she had ever eaten. She found a secret doorway in the wall, and opened it. She went through it, entering a dark room. It was like a moonless night without stars. She heard a giggle.
"Welcome to my kingdom," said a voice. A light went on. A girl in a black dress stood in front of Crossy. Live bats were taped to her shoes. They flapped their wings wildly, trying to escape. She asked Crossy for a golden cherry.
"I don't have a cherry."
“Don't play dumb with me, mortal."
A low voice called to the girl. “Princess come here," said the voice.
“Father, stop calling me princess," said the little girl.
It was Crossy's chance to escape. Crossy ran and as she looked back, she bumped into a man.
"How dare you bump into the king"! said the man.
"I'm sorry," said Crossy, bowing. She didn’t really believe this was the king so she decided to wait for him to fall asleep and look for his ID. As she walked away, she saw an invitation in his pocket that said, “Party on May X X I X X X I (2,811,111). Party ends at X X I(12) pm.
She snuck into the king’s attic and looked left and right and saw an air vent. She crawled in and waited for the king to come home and fall asleep. When he did, Crossy slid out of the vent and looked in his pocket and found his ID.
“YIKES ! He is the king,” she whispered. She climbed back through the vent and struggled along the small passageway. She crawled farther inside. She looked through a metal grate. A golden cherry sat upon a small stand in the king's personal room. She pushed open the grate and jumped out. "There you are my precious," Crossy said to the cherry. She took out a mirror from her pocket and put it in front of a laser protecting the cherry. The mirror made the laser point at the TV, which made the guard fall asleep. Man he's loud snorer, thought Crossy.
She climbed back up to the vent. “Finally I have the cherry.” She remembered a myth about the Golden Cherry. If you wished upon it, it would grant you a wish. Crossy made a wish on the cherry. She wished that she were the queen and as soon as she made her wish, she heard waves of cherry juice splash on the shore outside. She also heard high pitched cherry bells and she was a queen! She had a crown with a cherry jewel, the fruit was a ruby and the hearts were diamonds. Crossy wore a dress that was connected to her shoes with plastic tubes so she would never lose them. The shoes were connected to her feet with hot glue so she would never lose them! They were high heeled and when she went to sleep, she just pushed her heels foward until her shoes were flat. The air vent had transformed into a palace. She called the place "Crossy Land."
When crossy took a shower, she pressed a pink pearl cherry-shaped button on the faucet and she was clean because there were six built-in bars of soap that scrubbed and peeled off dirt and dead skin. She never ever complained about her life or about how her life used to be miserable.
Crossy met everyone in Cherryland and took a bite out of them.
Crossy found the king in his courtroom. “Your royal Cherriness, will you be my king?” said Crossy.
“No way woman, you’re way too funky smelling!” said the king.
“But, but, but I will jack your men’s cologne, so I will not smell funky!” said Crossy.
“Go away,” shouted the king, “or I will destroy your cherry grove/crop thingies! By the way, smear some of your cherries on yourself so you’ll smell a little bit funky fresher.”
“Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” cried Crossy.
Crossy got mad so she made a potion out of dingo-lingo cherries, her hair (two strands), cherry toad legs and her spit. She put everything in a huge pot and boiled all the ingredients. She took a large beer mug and a cooler and ran through a cherry flavored candy cave with the pot. She saw a girl who looked like her named Jen-Jen. They teamed up because both girls were rejected by the king. They both went to the castle to give the potion to the king. When they got to the castle’s gate the guards were asleep.
“Buky Chu chu buu buu dihe dihee hiae he momoma,” snored the guards.
Jen-Jen and Crossy rushed through the gate and it creaked loudly because the guards didn’t put oil on the hinges. The girls looked at the guards to see if they’d woken up. They hadn’t. The girls tiptoed up the castle staircase to the third floor. They gave the potion to the king. He drank it and fell asleep.
“Yes!” the girls said.
“Jen-Jen,” said Crossy. “I think we are going to be rich because the king is rich!”
“Cool!” said Jen-Jen. “We can take all his treasures while the potion is still working."
Crossy thought Jen-Jen was so ugly and disgusting because she acted so snobby and she said she was the ruler of Crossy Land so Crossy made a potion for Jen-Jen. Crossy found a pot and inside she put fingoling cherries, pink plaster, blue plaster, red plaster and Jen-Jen’s own hair with flavored highlights. She boiled everything then Crossy got a bottle and went to the Cherry Fields Lakes and filled her bottle with the lakes’ cherry juice. When the potion was done boiling, Crossy got another bottle and filled it with the potion. The liquids looked no different but Crossy put the letter C on her bottle of plain cherry juice and J-J on Jen-Jen's potion bottle.
The next day Crossy went to Jen-Jen's house with the bottles to celebrate
When Crossy gave the potion to Jen-Jen she grew a long nose and passed out. Crossy was having a fun time ruling her castle but then the king popped out of nowhere.
“YOU!!!” shouted the king. He was on a motorcycle with flaming cherry bunnies printed all over it. The king’s soldiers were on cherry-patterned horses.
“WHHOA horsey,” shouted the soldiers.
"How dare you come to my kingdom, what did we do to your kingdom? We didn't break through your castle wall, did we? Hmmmmmm, did we!"
"Wellll, Nooo!" The king stammered.
"So, why did you did it then?" Crossy said.
"Ummmm, ummmm, I don't know ........ because I felt like it."
“You horrible monster!" Crossy said. "Frezze thisss kingg intoo aaa goldennn statueeee mmmake himmmm feellll painnn likkkkkke a wolff izz biting him!!!!"
"Noooooo!" cried the king
"Wow did I really do magic?" Crossy licked her lips and tasted cherries.
About the Author
Hi, my name is Trang. I'm in fifth grade and I live in San Francisco. My birthday is May 28. I was born in the year of the tiger because I was born in 1998. My favorite animals are tigers, dogs (I have a dog named Bee) and baby mice when they are alone without a mom or helpless. I wonder if I was born to enjoy everything I love or if I was born to endure sadness.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
A blurry spiral appeared on the screen and Hammond and Raphael went spinning into it. They entered the War! They touched the ground and their hands went through but not their feet. Everything was transparent.
“I am thirsty,” said Hammond.
“Get your own!” said Rafael. Hammond drank all his water.
“I am still thirsty!”
Hammond removed his gun and bonked Rafael with it. “Why did I do that!” said Hammond.
“It's ok,” said Rafael, getting up.
“DIE!!!” Hammond said and he bonked Rafael. “Oh, well.” Hammond removed his shovel from his backpack and dug a hole and buried Rafael.
In a few minutes, Rafael dug himself out of the dirt. Flies buzzed around. It smelt like manure.
“Now where is Hammond?” Rafael looked around.
“Must suck blood,” said a voice.
Rafael turned around and looked behind him. A whole army of zombies came toward him. Their bones stuck out. Their eyes shined like a star. Rafael shot all the zombies with his shoulder cannon and ran. He saw a motorcycle, got on it and rode it away. He looked at the deserted world. He felt cold and drove up to space.
Rafael sensed someone was in trouble. He saw a large pyramid made of zombies. Rafael sped away and the zombies were gone. He pressed the EXCELERATE button. Then he found a person lying down. It was Hammond!!! He looked injured and wounded. Rafael stopped and picked him up. He put and him in a small cart and took him to an abandoned hospital. Rafael found an elixir on a shelf and gave it to Hammond, and after he drank it, he healed and his injury disappeared from his skin. Hammond quickly got up and found a plane. They got on and flew it away. While on the plane, Rafael pointed to a space satellite through the window.
“It will have lots of food, equipment to kill monsters and… aaaa? Hammond?”
Hammond’s face transformed into a purple balloon and his cheeks puffed out. Rafael found an astronaut suit in the closet. After Hammond put it on, his face deflated and the purple faded from his skin. Rafael and Hammond looked out the window. They landed on the satellite.
“Now what was I going to say?” Rafael said, getting out of the plane.
An android was heading for Rafael.
“What’s up, Zack?” said Rafael.
“Fine,” said the android in a robotic voice. “Nothing has changed." Rafael and Hammond created Zack.
Zack lead Rafael and Hammond to a room.
“Well, I need your help,” Rafael said.
“What is it?” asked Zack.
“We need to get out of this dimension,” Rafael said. “Right Hammond?”
When Rafael turned around, he saw Hammond exploring the spaceship.
“Now get in here,” Said Zack.
Rafael and Hammond entered a tube and Rafael's fingers turned into stone. His eyes turned red. Rocks stuck to him. He became a large rock monster.
Scales erupted on Hammond’s skin. His buckteeth formed into sharp razor fangs. His blue eyes turned red. He grew two extra legs.
“Hey,” said Hammond, “that’s no fair, you get to be a big, tough, fat and ugly monster and I don’t!”
“SHUT UP!!!!!” said Zack “We have to kill the warlord, Zurk.”
“EMERGENCY!” said the recorded voice. “Zurk has arrived!”
Zurk blasted the door open and said, “Surrender or you will be destroyed by my wrath.”
“You’re crazy! Take that for coming here, DUDE!” Hammond kicked Zurk on the face and his face exploded. His head flew through the ceiling of the ship and into outer space. Suddenly, the sky filled up with an explosive firework from the head.
Hammond and Rafael went inside a capsule on the satellite. They were back to normal. They crashed and had a big tantrum. Their bodies shrunk back to normal. The capsule shook and flames flared and the capsule headed for the portal that showed the planet Earth. They blasted into it and landed on the roof of Rafael’s house.
They went to the dump to throw away the Wii and found George Bush throwing a fit at a garbage bag. He murmured that he got fired for the president. He said he wanted it. So he took it.
About the Author
Hi, my name is Jason. I am ten. I live with my mom, dad, sister, and grandma. I am good at many games like Yu-gi-oh, Bakugan, and a lot of other things. I want to be a bit more advanced in sports. I am also the author of Curses and Goshi and the Dragons.
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